{"id":143,"date":"2007-06-05T22:57:58","date_gmt":"2007-06-05T22:57:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/atourcity.com\/bkgoswami.com\/?p=143"},"modified":"2014-02-10T23:45:56","modified_gmt":"2014-02-11T04:45:56","slug":"do-i-have-to-or-do-i-have-a-choice-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/atourcity.com\/bkgoswami.com\/do-i-have-to-or-do-i-have-a-choice-to\/","title":{"rendered":"Do I have to or do I have a choice to?"},"content":{"rendered":"

June 5, 2007<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s been a few days since I wrote my blog, and I have really been missing
\nthe writing. For the last few days I have been at the GBC meeting in New
\nVrindavan so time has been short. But I have learnt a lot about myself
\nduring these meetings.<\/span><\/p>\n

Some people picture the meetings as a time that the GBC gets together and
\ndecides gleefully how to control the movement and the people in the
\nmovement. Actually management in this day and age is a real sacrifice and in
\nand of itself is not an extremely joyful experience. In fact several GBC
\nmembers were not able to attend the meeting due to their experience of the
\nmeetings as being stressful and therefore being concerned about their
\nhealth.<\/span><\/p>\n

As you can probably tell there are a lot of things I would rather do than
\nattend meetings. Things like counting the pebbles on a beach or eating
\nborsht (which my mother used to force me to eat).<\/span><\/p>\n

So, in other words other than the experience of associating with so many
\nnice Vaisnavas who were sacrificing their lives for Srila Prabhupada, the
\nmeetings were not something that I really looked forward to.<\/span><\/p>\n

My nature also is to be engaged in helping others, chanting, hearing
\nKrishna’s pastimes, etc. I don’t have much tendency for management.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, I began to develop the consciousness of “why do I *have* to attend these
\nmeetings.” I was developing a negative attitude towards the meetings, and
\nwould experience them as very unpleasant.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then I remembered I had choices in live. No one was forcing me to do
\nanything. I didn’t have to do anything.<\/span><\/p>\n

I analyzed my real reason for attending the meeting. It was to please Srila
\nPrabhupada. So, then I changed my train of thought into thinking, “I am
\nchoosing to go to the meeting as an act of devotion to Srila Prabhupada and
\nRadha and Krishna.” As soon as I phrased things in my mind in this way, the
\nmeeting became part of my practice of Bhakti and I was able to relish a
\ndevotional mellow during the meetings.<\/span><\/p>\n

That does not mean however that I am in love with management, but rather I
\nam choosing to do something that for me is difficult as an act of love.<\/span><\/p>\n

When we function out of a conscious desire and need to love, then even
\nsomething that would not ordinarily be pleasurable becomes relishable
\nbecause of the Bhakti Rasa that is there.<\/span><\/p>\n

What to speak of when we decide to eliminate in our thought processes all
\nthe ideas that we “have” to do something or we are “supposed” to do
\nsomething concerning the direct items of Bhakti.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yesterday I received an email from a nice disciple. She was mentioning that
\nthe other devotees in the temple were cautioning her to not expect
\ndevotional service to be so ecstatic after she had been performing it for
\nmany years. They told her that she was just experience “newbe” happiness and
\nafter awhile that happiness and enthusiasm would quickly fade away.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was thinking of why that was the experience of so many devotees and also
\nhow we could continue with the enthusiasm we felt as new devotees and in
\nfact augment that enthusiasm. Krishna consciousness is supposed to get
\nbetter and better as time goes on. That has always been my experience.<\/span><\/p>\n

I understood that one loses his experience of ecstasy not only due to
\noffenses but for most devotees due to the ritualistic mentality that
\ndevelops in many. That is we do things because we are “supposed” to do it.
\nWe “have” to do it.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, with this mentality everything starting with mangala aroti becomes a big
\nbig burden. Because when you are supposed to do something, it
\npsychologically is posted in your mind as something you would not do unless
\nyou were “supposed” to do it.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, what I do to stay enthusiastic is before I do something for Krishna
\n(like the morning program, rounds, service, etc) I first of all think of how
\nfortunate I am to have the mercy of Krishna and Srila Prabhupada. How kind
\nthey are to “let” me do those things in spite of my not deserving them. I
\nmentally thank Krishna and Prabhupada for allowing me to do those things.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then I think, “Boy oh Boy, I am really going to have good time doing (Mangala
\nAroti, Deity worship, etc\u2026.). I a really looking forward to it. I can hardly
\nwait”<\/span><\/p>\n

So, in this way I build up the expectation of happiness and enthusiasm. It
\nis not artificial though because these activities are kevala ananda Kanda
\n(simply blissful). The reason we don’t feel blissful is that we have
\nmentality of being forced, not because the activities are lacking in some
\nway.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then when I am performing the activities I endeavor to cultivate the mood of
\njoyfulness, thankfulness and full awareness of what I am doing and who I am
\ndoing it for.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example when I chant some prayer in Sanskrit, I mentally and sometimes
\neven verbally (under my breath) say the translation. If you try this during
\nthe arotis, Tulasi worship, Guru Puja, etc, the activity takes on a new
\ndimension and you will always feel like jumping in ecstasy.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

June 5, 2007 It’s been a few days since I wrote my blog, and I have really been missing the writing. For the last few days I have been at the GBC meeting in New Vrindavan so time has been short. But I have learnt a lot about myself during these meetings. Some people picture read more>><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[33,30,31,34,32],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/atourcity.com\/bkgoswami.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/atourcity.com\/bkgoswami.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/atourcity.com\/bkgoswami.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atourcity.com\/bkgoswami.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atourcity.com\/bkgoswami.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=143"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/atourcity.com\/bkgoswami.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":706,"href":"https:\/\/atourcity.com\/bkgoswami.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143\/revisions\/706"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/atourcity.com\/bkgoswami.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=143"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atourcity.com\/bkgoswami.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=143"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/atourcity.com\/bkgoswami.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=143"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}