May 15, 2007

I just arrived in Houston, Texas for our North American GBC and leadership
meetings which will last 4 days. Management is not a sannyasi’s traditional
duty nor is it something that is high up in my list either.

When I first joined the movement, I definitely had a desire to control and
wanted to have a position within ISKCON. Part of the desire to control was
also a desire for autonomy (to not be controlled by anyone).

One devotee even commented that in the next life I was likely to become Lord
Brahma and have a whole universe to control

So, in my tenure in the movement I have taken a variety of positions,
beginning from treasurer, to temple commander, to temple president, to
regional secretary, to GBC! Krishna certainly fulfilled my desires!

But the interesting thing is that by the time I got to where I am today, I
had lost all desire to control (I still like independence though!), and the
management that I have to do for the society is now something that is
foreign to my nature. I am voluntarily doing it though, but out of love and
loyalty for Srila Prabhupada. Otherwise I would not relish it at all.

I guess it could be compared to the story of Dhruva who wanted a kingdom
greater than that of Lord Brahma but when he was offered everything by the
Lord, he understood that he was simply looking for some broken pieces of
glass rather than for the diamond that was Krishna.

There is one aspect of the meetings that is very relishable though; the
association of advanced devotees who have dedicated their lives to serving
Srila Prabhupada.

It is interesting though, that we each have different opinions about the
subject matters we are dealing with, but we agree to work cooperatively, and
respect each other for our opinions. This is what Srila Prabhupada meant by
“unity in diversity.” There is also great love between the different GBC
persons.

Because of my physical limitations (I get exhausted quite easily), I am only
able to attend 4 hours of meetings a day and my morning program is a little
abbreviated during meeting times.

I do long for the day when I am free of management responsibilities and can
dedicate my life to the activities which truly inspire me. What are those
activities? Helping others, and bringing people to Radha and Krishna.

Whenever I can get some time I engage in these activities, or am planning
how to perform these activities more effectively. Basically my brain is
absorbed in this.

To this end I am studying many different books on spiritual organizations
and sociological theories (to understand how ISKCON should be structured to
fully empower its members), studying different bridge preaching concepts,
praying to Krishna and Prabhupada for intelligence, experimenting with
different preaching approaches, and interacting and getting feedback from
members of ISKCON and others.

Some of my studies or experiments are seen by others as controversial, but I
feel impelled by a desire to alleviate the sufferings of others and to
please Prabhupada to do what I am doing. In the future I would like to write
about some of things I am examining to help our society.

Of course I never forget or neglect the practice of Bhakti Yoga which
entails the cultivation of the Bhakti Lata Bija. My desire to help others
and serve Prabhupada gives a greater intensity to my spiritual practices and
I become stricter in my observances understanding that the only way I can be
successful is to be empowered by Krishna.

Today I received a letter from a devotee who was asking me for advice on
what do when criticized by other devotees for the service which she is doing
because it is not their primary service. We often see that devotees become
fixed on some particular service and think that their service is the best
and that others should also do that service if they want to make spiritual
advancement.

This mood of intolerance of others service represents an insecurity. If we
are truly convinced about the potency of our service, we don’t need to
belittle others. We should appreciate all services done for Krishna.

Its like the story of Hanuman and the spider which Srila Prabhupada told us.
Both the spider and Hanuman were engaged in building the bridge to Sri
Lanka. Of course the spider was only able to kick up some dust whereas
Hanuman was throwing big boulders in the water. Hanuman said to the spider:
“Get out my way, you little runt, I am serving Lord Rama.” But, Lord Rama
interceded and told Hanuman that the spider was doing as much service as he
was.

I advised her that we have our relationship with Krishna and Krishna knows
our heart. Actually the service that we do is performed on the subtle
platform with ones heart, and mind.

Krishna doesn’t need anything, except for our hearts.

We need to learn the art of encouraging others and appreciating their
service.

We should be so happy if someone is doing any service for Krishna.