A brahmacari should not have a girlfriend
because then he is not a brahmacari.

A grihastha should not ignore his wife because this is not a grihasta

Everyone of us has specific nature. Some have the nature of a grihastha, some of a brahmacari or sannyasi. This is a very specific thing.

In other words, a brahmacari should not have a girlfriend, because this is not a brahmacari, and a girhastha should not ignore his wife, because this is not a grihastha. A householder has specific duties. He has to support his wife emotionally. He can not think, “O, I am a brahmacari with

my brahmacari assistant.” He has specific duties.

Every asrama has to stick to its duties. That means that every one of us has a specific nature which fits into a specific asrama. If you are a brahmacari by nature you never get married. But this is very rare, perhaps one in a million.