May 2, 2007

Last night we had a interesting discussion about austerities. My
understanding is that Krishna consciousness is meant to be “joyfully
performed.” In other words, whatever austerities that we may execute should
be done joyfully or happily. For many this appears to be a tall order.

There are different motivations that people have for performing austerities.
Here are some of them that I can think of:
1. Guilt
2. Fear (of getting smashed for not doing it)
3. material goals (Hiranyakasipu type, desire to be respected, etc.)
4. spiritual goals (liberation, spiritual advancement, desire to become
detatched, etc.)
5. ritualistically or because of habit-not thinking of the goal or
reason for them.
6. Love (desire to please someone)

Of these different types I have chosen 6 as I find it the most joyful. In
fact when austerities are executed in this way, they are no longer
austerities in the sense that they are no longer austere. They are life
giving.

Sometimes devotees look at my simple diet and comment that it is too
austere, but I do not find it austere at all. I had the realization that my
body belongs to Krishna. It does not belong to me for my enjoyment. So as an
offering of love for Krishna I would do what was necessary to keep it
running nicely as long as possible to maximize my service. I don’t think of
my diet in a negative way. If I did, it would make me miserable. Rather I
think of it in a positive joyful way. Then it becomes super enjoyable, more
than all the glubjamons, halavah, pizza, etc that I have imbibed throughout
the years.

Also the austerities should be performed and guided with intelligence. For
example two days ago it was Lord Nrsimha’s appearance, and I fasted the
whole day up to dusk. I had no problem doing this. But, after the mid day I
found that I unable to focus my mind or eyes well (because of the fasting),
so I was not able to perform much service. As the day wore on I physically
became weaker and weaker and finally when it was time for the evening
service, I could barely stand to perform my part of the abhiseka, and after
I was finished I had to sit down feeling exhausted being unable to continue
or participate in the aroti ceremony.

So I decided that from now on, if necessary I would take fruit during the
day during these long fasts, so that I could serve Srila Prabhupada
effectively. Of course some may criticize me for this. The tendency to feel
guilty about this may also be there. Or the tendency to be scared (maybe
Lord Nrsimha will rip me to shreds for this).

But, I understand that Krishna is a person, and He knows my intention and my
heart. Therefore there is no guilt or fear.

We really need to understand what motivates us, and how other people are
attempting to motivate us. Sometimes people attempt to motivate us by guilt,
fear, shame, denigration. If succumb to this, we will be miserable.

For example 2 days ago I received a letter from a Godbrother who was
attempting to motivate me to do what he wanted. He replied to my statements
in such a way as to appeal to guilt, using negative psychology. His method
of attempting to motivate me was ineffective and manipulative (especially in
regard to my rebellious self!). It would have been more productive had he
tried to understand me first and had he explained why he was thinking the
way he was.

In an institution sometimes we are stirred into actions simply by unthinking
obedience to an authority. Prabhupada did not want us to be blind followers,
but wanted independently thoughtful people who consciously chose to do
things to serve Krishna. These are the sorts of people who can become
leaders. Prabhupada wanted leaders.

Prabhupada appreciated Tamal Krishna Maharaja immensely because of this
quality. Ultimately he was submissive to Prabhupada but not in a blind way.
He interacted with Srila Prabhupada in a very mature fashion and that is why
Prabhupada called for him to ask him for advice sometimes.

I was reading a sociological text. In this text the author was talking about
how sometimes we slip into the mode of blind obedience to an authority, and
in this mode we may do things that are even contrary to our personal moral
principles. He calls this the Agentic state, that is the state when we lose
our own moral compass and simply become the agent for a larger process or
machine. We don’t want to slip into that state if we wish to be joyful in
our Krishna consciousness.

It is my firm belief that the structure of our society has to be changed so
that the tendency to manifest a domination culture is replaced with life
giving enthusiastic voluntary serving culture. Until that time we will not
experience the true joyfulness of Krishna conscious, nor will we be fully
empowered to carry out the great mission that Srila Prabhupada has given us.

If I remember tomorrow I would like to write about overcoming old age, an
interesting topic.